D- Derp

Derp is an expression used online and IRL to indicate stupidity, either your own or others'. It's like saying, "well, duh" for you children of the 80s & 90s. According to Know Your Meme, "derp" was first used in the massively successful and highly acclaimed cinematic achievement brought to life by Trey Parker and Matt Stone, Baseketball.

I quite like the word. In fact, in the past and in certain contexts, it has made me laugh out loud so hard, tears flowed freely. I watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I'm not ashamed. I'm a hardcore Fluttershy fan. I will listen to the dubstep remix of Fluttershy screaming "You are going to love me!" over and over. And over. One of the characters on the show is named Derpy Hooves.
 

Derpy's got a lot of love and helpfulness to share, but she's not always quick on the uptake. Take a look at her eyes. Derpy's a bit wall-eyed and this results in some minor to major catastrophes, namely structural damages to the public buildings in Ponyville. Anyway, Derpy's eyes were a result of an animation error and the fans (read: bronies) really liked it and it stayed.

Nevertheless, I bring up Derpy Hooves because two Fridays ago, I came face to face with my very own IRL version of a DERPY HOOVES EYE CONFIGURATION.

A couple of older gentlemen came into the store. I went up to one of them with the intent to see if he needed any assistance, like I'm supposed to. And I shit you not, one of his eyes focused on me then moved on to a point over my right shoulder while the other eye slowly swiveled in its socket upward in the opposite direction.

I've always wondered how I'd handle my own eye contact placement with such a person afflicted with low eye muscle strength. I think I did OK outwardly. I helped him find what he and his friend (relative?) were looking for (hard candy for the tables of a wedding reception). I sold the products, along with the ones I recommended, bagged them up and sent them on their merry way.

All without laughing. I guess this isn't something to be way proud of but it did confirm what I've always suspected about myself.

I'm a good person.

I'm a good person because I know to laugh at those who are intentionally stupid, not those that can't help it. I don't laugh at or mock disabled or mentally challenged persons. I know what being laughed at and mocked feels like. So there's no way I'd do that intentionally.

But a wall-eyed expression on people not normally so, well... I don't care what you say, that's funny right there.

Barneye Derpson

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Well, since Mad-Eye is dead, might as well have a go at it...

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Okay, so maybe Gerard Butler is a bad example...I'm not seeing much of a change here. KIDDING.
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And the "derpage" has evolved ever so cleverly too. My new favorite derp is Berks, aka Gersberms.

Try reading that aloud.
It'll make you cry, one way or the other.
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Terk a lerk, ert's en er berk!

A Rerding Reenber!