Golden Rations could be a good cereal brand name

Ever hear about the Golden Ratio? What about the idea that the closer your face is to perfect symmetry, the "hotter" you are to the opposite sex?

So in nature and art, also science and mathematics, there exists a number that provides a basis for an algorithm to indicate supreme beauty...although most likely, this is highly exaggerated.

The Fibonacci spiral approximates this... AND SO DOES MY FACE!

My friend,  DrSpach, did one for herself on Google+ and showed lots of us... I begged her to do mine and gave her a few options to choose from.
Here are the ones she used:

Here's the result of the symmetrical division of my face...

Rachel McAdams could be my twin! So too could Sister Wendy. Wee-nay-issahnce!

Thanks Stf! I've always wondered about my own symmetry. Because now I can tell photographers to shove it when they want me to photograph me from the left as now I have irrefutable scientific proof that my right side is my better side.

So why am I left-handed?

The Perfect Gift for that Special Man

Ladies!!! Gay Male Readers!!! Christmas, Hanukkah, and other gift giving holidays are just around the corner! I made a video for you to help you out...

Courtesty of YouTube Search Stories

The Sophie's Choice of Childhood Literature

Too soon? Dang. I can't choose really...

Day 13- Favorite Childhood Book

source

or 

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Which would you have picked? Please tell me you've read Hound and Bear.

I like Hound and Bear for the story but I like the Berenstain Bears books for the illustrations. I'm good at illustrations. But Tomie dePaola has to have a nod. And the Steven Kellogg.

See my illustration? I call it "People of the Northeast"

Caricatures of archetypical customers who came in last week.

I'm so damn proud of myself. 

Anyway, Hound and Bear is about Hound and Bear. They're friends who live with each other. Friends that is, until Hound plays one too many pranks and gets kicked out of the house by Bear.

Oh the joie de vivre of Hound! Oh the hirsute steadfastness of Bear! Ages 4-8 is the recommended range, but the prank-loving adolescent in you will love it, especially the black paint episode.

And the illustrations! Ooooh! Simple line drawings! The use of one bright color amidst the greys! Steven Spielberg was inspired and hijacked that idea!

Okay, so Hound and Bear wins and the Berenstain Bears have to get on the train. At least there's more than one of them, so they'll have company.

Happy Sunday all y'all.

The Five Second Rule is a Lie.

The Malteser fell to the floor. She picked it up and proceeded to rub it between her hands.

Me: NO NO NO!  You either pick it up and throw it away or you put it in your mouth. We do not rub chocolate all over ourselves.

Yeah kiddo, if you want to rub chocolate all over yourself, be my guest. Don't let me get in your way. Oh? You were wiping it off? That's a whole 'nother story

If I'd've gotten there first, I'd have just blown on it before popping it my mouth. More hygienic, I think.

And may I please say that My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic AbFab? Case in point:

The target demographic for this show is not in fact 7-10 year old little girls. It is in fact, 18-26 year old males. In my house, we heart this show superhard. So does a redditor in his "My Little Pony Broventure". It was inspired by this particular rage comic. [Of course, reddit is how I find most cool stuff nowadays. By the by, I've been seeing a lot of rage comic characters as blog avatars. Sweet]

Honestly, I have felt that way many times. If you didn't click on either of the hyperlinks above, then you don't know what I'm talking about. Once you have, and you've read it...and frankly, you have to live in a country with participating McDonald's or other toy-hawking restaurants...But McD's is definitely at the top of the cheapo toy market... Have I gotten off track? Yeah. Once you've read it, you'll recognize that little stick figure in you.

Evey: "He was Edmond Dantès, and he was my father, and my mother, my brother, my friend. He was you, and me. He was all of us."

So, that's a little heavy for a stick figure, but maybe you'll see the everymannishness of it. And later, after munchkin had gone off to bed, I was taking some laundry upstairs. Wedged in the limbo between a folded sleeve and the floor rug, was a Malteser.

Blew on it. Popped it right in. 

Drumroll please...Drumroll!

I got married after being engaged for 18 months. Result: I was pretty sure about the deal.

So Lauren. Well done. Go get that Memetastic Award. It's the one that says "Memetastic Award". You can't have Insanity Wolf. That was the impetus placed for motivation. And I made this for you too.

For the uninitiated: Moltar is a being made entirely from lava. He's the smartest of the quartet from SpaceGhost.

I've been sitting on this post for a while now. Probably because I'm pretty darn ungracious. Which makes this award even more ironic. 

In Muppet Baby Miss Piggy's voice:

"And so..."

I am indeed again, a winnah winnah of some chicken dinnah. That's two this week, well...that's like wearing the two crowns of Upper and Lower Egypt. I'm sure I've got some Ptolemy in me in here somewhere..I mean, who doesn't nowadays? Think they'll pick me as Mubarak's successor? I'll tell them I love them more than they hate Mubarak. That's good value, that is.

Rule 1: Acknowledge blogger who gave you the award.   Umseti @ Stupid America
She's a Studio 30 Plus member, like moi, and we fell in with the same crowd. She called me 'stylin'. Hmm...that's because of TGNLindsey...has nothing to do with me. Drat! Umseti isn't even a follower of my blog, I don't think. Hunh. DON'T CARE! She chose me! AHAHAHAHALSDKJF. suckers. Imma take dis here award and run wit' it.  Sorted.

Rule 2: List 7 unknown things about me...But I just saw another blog who received this same award and it was tell 5 things that you love and 5 blogs you love. Mmph.

I'm Type O positive. In college, I liked to give it away at the blood drives just so I could have the cookie.

With the sound off, I can recite The Princess Bride.

I like to sit in the sunlight outside to read. My husband called it basking when we were dating, and it stuck.

I'm good at remembering names, like scarygood eidetic, but am crap when it comes to remembering dates.

I am 10 and 11 years older than my brother and sister....so for all intents and purposes, I'm still an only child. I do love J and K though.

I've been driving since I was 11.

I have no real fashion sense. I've been wearing the same damn style of clothes I wore when I was 14. Jeans, khakis, t-shirts, button-downs, sneakers. The hair's pretty much the same too. I think have no real need or desire to be "fierce". Certainly can't afford it.


Rule 3: Share with 15(!) bloggers who are just now starting out. MollieEdit: Who the hell came up with the number fifteen for this crap? Damn you, I'm sharing with ones that I've just now started following. And I'm only doing THIRTEEN! 

Lauren @savvy?  Real life friends. They make one feel nice and fuzzy like a polite cat.
Jessica @sassy sippy cups Positivity is always attractive.
Lesley @ IrelandEverAfter Fairytales can come true, it can happen to you. Like it happened to her.
K-T@KT's Refinishing School DIY guru for pennies on the dollar.
Colie @The Colie Chronicles Funny. Always deletes posts. I never get to read anything she writes. Just kidding.
#7 @ Narragansett No. 7 Even with the kids, she probably brushes her teeth before leaving the house. I like that.
Erin @ MyLittleCorner Cakes. Beautiful cakes. And Chuck Taylors.
Annah@ WhenRedMeansGo Hot mess. Funny. Irreverent. I'd like to think that I'd've been as cool as her if I hadn't made all those decisions that got me where I am as of now.
HockeyWife @ Tales of a Hockey Wife Of course she has this already...post hoc, ergo propter hoc.  I kid.
Aimee @ Pleasantly Demented Bruisingly beautiful, a sledgehammer in a rosebush.
Tara @ Kind of A Sideshow  If life was the movie Notting Hill, I'd be Honey and she'd be Anna Scott and I'd meet her by babbling about how awesome she is. She and her siblings are amazing and you know what I mean if you've ever seen a Donny Vomit show.
The Twin Spin @TheTwinSpin Artisty Mummy for three girls...two are twins. She has a series. That's stylin'.
Rachel @ TheMeanGirlDiaries Her header is Roy Lichtenstein-ish. It makes her look like Kate Winslet from The Holiday. Absofuckinlutely gorgeous.

I guess I should let them know. That'd be stylish of me.

Music I had forgotten I loved comme un dieu

To all my Canadian blog visitors... I'm so sorry for your loss. The loss of enjoying this post in its fullness. Because you're being limited. BUT FIGHT THE POWER MY GOOD MAN!

A French band, Air, had a song that I played when I was a college radio DJ at OU. Sexy Boy was the song. Simple, sensual, evocative. Here you go.



You remember that I went to a movie Wednesday, yeah? I heard this damn song but it wasn't my song! It was cover of it for an Axe commercial.

You remember the first time you saw an Axe commercial? You remember laughing at it the once? Because, you know, women and men crap...that's some funny shit! BWAHSHSHAAAHAHAH! Ahem.

So I got to be in an auditorium full of geriatrics who've never seen an Axe commercial in their life! I was there for their collective first laugh. It was a beautiful feeling. Like feeling someone else's orgasm. It was special for me too.

I share now with you what they enjoyed.



In all honesty, I giggled at the boy who popped his gum. I was premature. <Insert sexual prowess joke here, wait for laughs>

And because I want to do your YouTube legwork for you, I've also provided you the cover song without commercial.



Oh jebus. I'm a sucker for anything with a cello, a violin, and the Vienna Boys choir.

For TMMW

TMMW inspired this piece of crap.

What was I going for? Nothing.  So, TMMW, take that damn Microsoft Paint POS and do something cool with it. Or not.