British people have thanksgiving too.

On this day in 2010: Clubbing Seals!
Not really. I was lying.

I've been asked by a lot of people here about what all is entailed in the holiday known as American Thanksgiving (not to be confused with Canadian Thanksgiving). You know, "All I know about America is what I see in the movies" kind of questions.

Like, what do you eat? And what do you eat?

Those are very easy questions to answer. And I answer the best I can, in the only way I can. With honesty and in bold.

"TV dinners for my family, usually. One year, we had tamales! I know a gal whose family likes to BBQ crab legs on Thanksgiving."


What about the Native Americans? Do they celebrate Thanksgiving the way you do?


"Hmm, well, Chinese food is very popular with the Redskins Indians Native Americans First Peoples tribes. There's not a whole lot of interaction between the ethnic groups because you know, it'd be like Jews celebrating Hitler's birthday."

Quite, quite. I can see that being a bit awkward for you.

"Yeah, it's not like they'd want invite us onto the rez on that day."


What about presents? Do you give each other pressies?

"Yes! Especially, we give presents to newly arrived immigrants. It's not really widely known outside of the lower 48. We want to make sure it stays local and as "American" as possible and does not become an exported custom. I know how much you Europeans hate amalgamating the rest of American culture into your own. It's our gift to you."


I appreciate it! Ta, very much. Are there any special Thanksgiving carols, like the Christmas ones?

"Oh sure, lots of them. There's 'Hold on Grandaddy, Momma's dialling 911', 'Quick, quick, pick it up before someone sees'. That one's got a dance to go with it. There's 'Salty Gravy and Bland Casserole'. My mom's favorite is 'Never Gonna Dessert You', by Trick Ghastly."


I've never heard of those! You'll have to teach them to me!

"Not surprised. They're Southern traditionals. Not much good from there reaches anywhere."




And what did I get today from my friend? A pressie. A DVD copy of Peter's Friends with an all-star cast of some British actors you've heard of and some you haven't. I love it.

I am very happy and thankful for clean, potable water coming out of my faucet. I am happy and thankful for trashmen and trash collection. I am very happy and thankful for non-censored, relatively free, somewhat inexpensive internet access. You should be too. Call your congressperson ASAP to tell them so.

I am overthemoonandback for my daughter and her health status. Same goes for SciMan and all my family. I love all my friends real, virtual, and imaginary. That means you. And I hope of hopes, that if you celebrate today, that you let someone take your keys (in a non-spouse swap way, unless that's your thing, then by all means) to your car so that you do not drink and drive.

Happy Thanksgiving to all and to all a good night!

Campaign for Real Ale

Know your rights, especially as a drinker, when you go next to your local. You could be drinking crap for all you know.

I had the amazing, once-in-a-year opportunity to go to the Durham Beer Festival held at the Durham University Student Union.


Yeah. I'm in Alice's world where you can drink pretty much what you want on a university campus. Ring, ringring, ring. Um, hello OU? Yeah, I'd like to open you up for this cool thing called adult discretionary activities where you could allow the adult students and adult faculty and staff to partake of the wonderfulness that is Delirium Tremens....

source

It's such a wonderful Belgian beer, I didn't even mind the pink elephants I saw...

I mean really, OU... If a #3 university in a CIVILIZED COUNTRY can have a family room for the underaged at a beer festival, surely too, you could as well. What better way to keep tabs on our youth than right under our noses as we imbibe?

You could even have security! They have such smooth butts to polish the handrails with! There's bathrooms for the washing of the hands afterwards! WE CAN DO IT! We can be the change we want to see!

And the clientele that would attend are the good ol' boys with money types. With a festival like this, people are there to spend money to drink beer. To drink beer. And to drink the beer. It's classy. See? The bartenders have official festival uniform polo shirts. There's a manly smell that you just can't get from the 50 yard line at Owen Field. Toby Keith knows this.

*****

I went this last weekend to the Durham Beer Festival, obviously. I really enjoyed myself...sensibly. I thought I caught a glimpse of a "minor" celebrity and was thrilled that I might get a chance at a reddit post, "Guess Who I Ran Into?" Alas, the fat man was just a fat man.

The fat man sitting under the PROMOTES DRINKERS RIGHTS sign, to me, looked like Nick the Greek from Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels. 

CAMRA, or Campaign for Real Ale, is an organization that was started in the 70s here in England as a way to keep drinking from being commercialized, a la Budweiser and to promote small pubs. I had several Englishmen (okay, two) tell me about their perception of Americans and the American beer (they think it's shit). 

According to these two Geordies, and if I'm honest others from the area here as well, think that all Americans drink is Budweiser varieties and the odd Coors and Miller Lites. I didn't totally disabuse them of that notion because well, those beers have their place. But I told them about how when I did go out to Louie's after a hard day of teaching 6th graders, I'd usually get a Sam Adams or a Corona. With lime. No salt. Or a Negro Modelo. With shredded lime on the goblet rim. The bigger the better. No salt. See? I can be a beer snob too.

First beer of the night.

So, the Durham Beer Festival. Really cool in many ways. First, it was on a university campus. Paradigm shift for me. Second, £10 for four half pints and I get to keep the glass? Bargain. Third, I got to go to a part of the University that I hadn't been motivated to explore prior. Really. Fourth, I got to go with my buddy, Ruth.

And I learned a lot about myself that night too. I learned that I LOVE Belgian beer. Best beer of the night? Delirium Tremens, hands down. It won "Best Beer in the World" in 1998 at the World Beer Championships. 

Also, I like the Dumbo reference.

Know your memes

Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

Where was this first posted?  Answer that, and you can have the remaining Durham Cathedral magnet. (Fucking magnets. How do they work?)

They get gawked at at home, why not here too?

I love going to the market square on Saturdays. Where else can you get whiskey flavored fudge, 7 donuts made right in front of you for £1, and hear a couple of buskers perform an acoustic version of Ke$ha's TiK ToK?  Those boys rocked that song without AutoTune. It was a nice thing to chuckle about...THEY WERE SO EARNEST! If I'd had spare change, I'd've given it to them. Le sigh.

But I don't go to the market square to just buy stuff; I go because it's something to do on a Saturday and it's usually free or cheap entertainment. Because the entertainment comes in the form of the locals...