Bonfire Night 2011...FOR SCIENCE!

source and a symbol of a global movement

From last year; BONFIRE NIGHT 2010 and the pictures and video are nearly the same this year as they were last year. Consistency... the key to life.

Differences this year? Yes. Went with Roo and Big Fella and Michigan Jesse. Hey ladies, are you single and want to long-distance date a cutie pie physicist? No lie, true story. I think Michigan Jesse's around 28-30. Let me know, he's single, smart as a whip, and cute too! I can say that, right? He's new to the area, no kids, and lots of money!

So, activities? Same as last year's, held in the graveyard... only no potato and leek soup was in evidence!! I scored a few homemade cinder toffee knobs even though I took store-bought chocolate covered cinder toffee for Roo and Big Fella. Roo is Ruth because "Ru" sounds like "roo" and she lived in Australia for a time (kangaroo, anyone?). Plus, it's what Big Fella (Brian, her husband calls her).

After that, went to Aykley Heads Police Headquarters for a resoundingly boomer of a time. I'm talking fireworks, people.

The fireworks seemed, to me, more "percussive" and "tympanic" than any I remember... and that might be because it was on November 5th, rather than July 4th. What do you think, after seeing the video?

Yet...The speed of sound v relative to the current in which it is embedded is given by v = (gRT)^1/2 where g is the ratio of the specific heat at constant pressure to the specific heat at constant volume, R is the gas constant for dry air, and T is the temperature. The product gRT is then taken to the one-half power. We see from this equation that the speed of sound is proportional to the temperature and would expect sound to travel faster in a warmer air mass.

Quite right. Which is why the sound of the firework was delayed as long as it was.

According to the resident physicist, how loud something is isn't necessarily related to the speed of sound. Without giving a whole lot of time to think over my question "why?", he merely adds that moisture might have something to contribute to the effect.

I think he was busy when I asked. Guess that's how people are when they're at work.

I kid.

Not really.


And with that, ladies and gentlemen, I leave you to consider the following image taken at the local Makro (similar to Costco/Sam's):
:

Isn't it beautiful? I've never seen that much natural energy pussy in a public place. I wouldn't be up for it all in one go. I think I'd need several rounds. Makes me tired just looking at it. So, since I'm exhausted by all that pussy energy, I challenge you to see who can come up with the best caption.

Furries in Durham

Another surreal market day. Am thinking the remnants of the Edinburgh Fringe are trickling south and today was the day they hit Durham.

Tons of street performers and comedians. Gave a pound to a couple of teenaged buskers who aren't able to shave their faces yet; it was a pity donation. One of them tried to "Harpo" but forgot to not talk.

And then these buggers loomed out of the crowed. No. They "loped".




Srsly. What are two grown men doing in gender correct kangaroo aviator suits?

Unhinged Jaws

A few things...

After ingesting our morning carbs and dairy the other morning, Kiddo, SciMan, and I got to experience the spectator sport of watching "Fee Fi Fo Yum", a children's TV game show. It was really interesting that this is quality programming. It was similar to "Double Dare" but the carrot of the game show's premise is to NOT BE EATEN! BY A GIANT!

Oh yeah. Every so often, there'd be "commercials" like these embedded in the game show...because the show is on a fake network for giants, GTV. In the land of the giants, Hairy Mary is the spokeswoman of choice. Go ahead, take some time to watch them. It's only 3 minutes. Just make sure you don't have a mouthful of liquid.



See?

Now close your mouth. You know we could totally use a "Guff Muffler" to help us be in control of our output.

Want to see more? Try this or this. Totally worth your time, especially if you've got kids.

*******

Came across a few more jawbreakers...

Pay toilet outside of Trencher's restaurant in Whitby. Price?
Adults: 40p = $0.65
Children: 10p = $0.16

I think this is a little pricey to pay for #1 and #2. The pay toilet in the bus station in Durham is just a flat rate of 20p ($0.33)

Yeah. I get the rationale for pay toilets. But cleanliness is not always guaranteed. Neither is the prevention of an assault on your ol' olfactory senses.

 

Kiddo got this as a birthday present from one of her little schoolmates. OBVIOUSLY, schmuck means jewelry.
You paint it, then you bake it.
Heart warming. It warms the cockles of my heart.
There's nothing like hot cockles.

While waiting for Dad and Sis to arrive via train...

The "ice-cream-shoppe-vomited-all-over-baby-seal-boots" look.
I hope this look is catching on in the States... I don't want to be all alone with this.

At least VPL is still vogue.

You KNOW they called each other to coordinate!

Seen on the shelf in the children's library... The Ministry of Niceness

Initially, cute premise... but...

the message of the story is that cool people are not nice...therefore, BE NICE.

And then it becomes a governmental policy.

I can imagine...

...12 months probation for not holding a door open for the person behind you,

...2-4 months jail time for not giving up your seat in the front of the bus to an elderly or disabled person,

...10 years for buying Abercrombie hoodies and wearing them in public*. Plus five more if worn while rioting**.

Okay, okay... so that's really stretching it.

But this... THIS takes my breath away...

We're made of PORK! Our business is our own.

Can you imagine the commercial for this one?

interdental lisping: Yay MEAT!

Thank you so much, Tesco!

*Guilty as charged. Oops. My bad.
**I have nothing more to say about this, just thought there needed to be a double asterisk because that's what my teacher told me when we learned about writing outlines in junior high.

Survival in England 101, vol. 1

When we first arrived in England, there wasn't a real easy way to find out how to handle the little things in life that you'd consider necessary, like taking a shower or getting the hot water to magically appear from the spigot. We had no internet in the first few days either, so we couldn't Google it. Asking Peter (the bartender) was right out; being ridiculed by Peter for not knowing how to turn on a shower is not something one would want to experience. For being American, yes. For not knowing how to do something that should be so simple, no.

So, if you're going to move here or visit here, this might help...

The glass half door

First encounter with this interesting fixture was in the hotel we stayed in while we were looking for a place to live in 2010. It swings outward; it does NOT slide. It also does not do a whole lot to prevent water from getting on the bathroom floor either. 

Also, note the shower head fixture attached to the faucet. We've been here around three weeks (new house) and have still not figured out how to turn the shower off so that we can just run the bath. Phone calls to landlord have not been returned. Again, another example of how expectations are unfulfilled.

Here's a quick rundown of how it was...

And so, you've just arrived in a foreign country. You've got the kid fed and down for a well-deserved nap, now you're ready to scrape the grime that's accumulated over the last 24 hours of travel. You go in the bathroom for a shower and fail to find the light switch. Nevermind, you think, it's still light outside so you figure you don't really need light all that bad to wash your hair.

The new shower same as the old shower

 See that button? It says "start*stop". You press that button to start the shower. But no. It doesn't work! Fine, you think. You'll just wash your hair under the faucet like you did when you were a kid. But then, your 6'4" husband wants to shower too. Huh.

What the hell is this?

Really. "What the hell is that?", is what you think when you enter the bathroom. Is it for the light? There's a pull-cord that obviously you pull, but when it was pulled, the light didn't come on. 

Oh yeah, the light switch was on the outside of the bathroom. You ask yourself, how is that logical? If you really want to screw up someone's nighttime showering, then you could totally wreak some havoc. You kid.

Come to find out... you have to turn the shower on with this. It's the power source. Again, nothing to indicate that it has to be on in order to turn on the shower.

Because your husband is ScienceMan, he figures out the logistics of the Rube Goldberg bathroom. It only took him four  two days no time at all. (he reads this blog sometimes. shssssh)

I promise you, I'm not lazy

It's just that there's no toilet paper roll holder in the wall here or at the last house. I don't think even my friend, Sensible Lady Ruth, has one in her house. Hey all you British! Raise your hands if you have a toilet paper roll holder in your wall.

Oh, and brushing your teeth in front of a mirror? Ain't gonna happen all that often. Mirrors aren't usually over the sink...because there's a window there. And drying your hair in the bathroom or using a flatiron or an electric shaver (husband, y'all) also ain't gonna happen as THERE ARE NO ELECTRICAL OUTLETS IN YOUR BATHROOM. 


I've had damp hair for the last 14 months.

Control Issues

I've learned that I control the weather in the UK.

NO REALLY!

If I (or the Man even) decide to do laundry, it rains. If I say, "no, laundry. I shall not lay hands upon thee", it won't rain. Except for today. Today, I got lucky with my rain dance... I am native American after all.

One year ago today. It was cold then, it's cold now. 

New pub in town had this masterpiece: Proscuitto, honey, tomato, figs, and fresh mozzarella. C'est tres bella. Me gusta.

My new pub bev fave since cokes are not to be found at my local. It's fizzy orange juice. But boy oh boy, does it give me the burpy hiccups!

And this is what I've been pissed about for a week. There's this little boy at kiddo's school who has some severe and profound disabilities. He did this to her.
This is what the report says:
"After school club children were outside. Kiddo was playing with wooden blocks alone...*** came outside, went straight to her and grabbed her by the hair and pushed her face into a wooden block on the ground."

Uh, 'scuse me?

No, he had to have "slammed" her face into that block, not "pushed" to get that big of bruise on her face. Also, he pulled out a big chunk of her hair.


I say, fuck inclusion...because this isn't the first time shit like this has happened to her caused by this same child. I honestly don't give a flying fuck if someone's retarded or not...when you hurt my child, you need to be expelled.

So here's the school's solution:

The two children with be kept away from each other. If one is outside, the other must be inside. The two shall take their meals separately.

I understand IEPs. I've implemented them before. But I've never agreed with the policy that just because a child is on a BIP or IEP, that when they are violent, their consequences are different than everyone else's. And so, what I want to know is... when can I go mano y mano with that mom?

I can not wait to get out of here.

Alreet, Big Brother?

Some things are sacred and are not to be messed with. If they do mess with those holies, I want "te dunsh them in the heed". Ya knaa what ah mean leik? Take for instance, my friend wanting me to find some curse words or phrases, Geordie-speak leik, that she can use against her hinney. Ah hev nar na wish tuh start a barney inatween a husband an' a missus. Another thing that "shud neet be messed wi'" is TV.

I believe in free TV channels. The major news network affiliates have the airwaves from the government for free in the US, right? This is why you don't have to buy a subscription to Cox Cable if you just want ABC, CBS, NBC, PBS, Fox25 and Channel 34...whatever Channel 34 is now... WGN? Have things changed since I left home?

No free TV here at any rate.

The government WILL come to your house to make sure you are not watching TV without a license.

source, Reddit of course.

Kiss my grits. As of today's exchange rate, the yearly fee is the rough equivalent of USD $237.46. I am leaving so very very very very soon.

Oh, this is not a letter to me. No. I threw my letter away last June, stupidly forgetting to take a picture of it. This letter is to a guy who bought the TV from Tesco as a GIFT. I stole it from reddit.

While I do not have "cable", I do have a TV that I use to watch DVDs. I do not need a license for this type of use, thank god.

Hulu is unavailable here in my area. 

The apologists for TV licensing go on and on about how individuals benefit from watching BBC and since they take advantage of said benefits, then individuals must contribute. Supposedly this is why BBC programming is the classy dame of the broadcasting world.

No. I disagree. With all of it. D'ye heor wor Muckle Brother? I'll contribute to my local PBS station when the time comes, because I want punkin to get to watch Anne of Green Gables and Sesame Street. But I'll do it because I want to, not because I have to.

And that has made all the difference.

Fun Video Friday

Even manatees have to fart.

So many great people have features. I think I'll have one too.  Like minds think great.

TIL about the Six Nations

Source. The logo kinda looks like a weird reddit alien/Spidey combo.

DISCLAIMER: I'm in no way an expert of anything. Most of the time, the things I write about, I write with the hope that someone can steer me correctly or refute what I have to say. That's how I learn best, I think. I try to relate what I encounter to what I already know, thus drawing conclusions by way of identifying parallels in life. You probably do the same.

It's pretty dadaist here.

Dadaism- reject logic and embrace chaos and irrationality...sometimes with intent to offend. 

That's so me. But in the nicest possible sense.

While walking on my way to the library so I could print off my CV, I was interrupted by this:

Fifteen minutes later, on my way to fill out an application, I was treated to this:

Yeah. These young women pretending to be old women dancing with walkers were promoting 'The Producers'. Music and song. It was pretty cute.

I really am living in a most surreal environment if that was any yardstick. Also, VAT is increasing or has increased, but there are signs in Yates' windows that say 'no VAT increase'...supposedly so you'll be more inclined to go there? Can they legally do that?

The Blacks shop is closing down, but a new Pandora shop recently opened. Seriously? Blacks is more useful than Pandora...its an outdoorsy store. Pandora is for jewelry. Expensive, at that.

On a Sunday, while waiting for the bus to arrive, I observed anywhere from 7 to 12 people coming in and out of the pub on the corner in my little village...it's a first for me. Mainly, because it was 1pm.  because Newcastle was playing Sunderland.

The upcoming royal wedding has a bank holiday (April 29th) but I saw an online article with a headline that pooh-poohs 'The King's Speech', asking readers to decide if the movie doesn't glorify the royals. I think that the bank holiday is somewhat along the lines of Chamberlain's appeasement policy. We all know how well that works. Especially since there's the Good Friday and Easter Monday bank holidays just prior to the BH on the 29th. How are teachers and students supposed to get through the required curriculum when days are taken out of the schedule after the schedule has been determined?

Another revelation of how surreal it is here to me, and about how I'm having to have a paradigm shift is the theory of why I am not getting a job here:

#1. The US does not place much/any weight to individual's high school education. A diploma from high school does not have the prestige it used to. You either graduate or you don't. You get a diploma of some sort if you do and if not, then you figure something out or you get the GED taken care of. The US places heavier emphasis on college entrance exams, performance while in college, and where one goes to college. Employers do not use application forms that ask for how well you did on you EOIs in high school 

#2. The UK does place a great deal of importance on the high school education. A levels and A+ levels. Employers ask what qualifications and leaving certificates you got. It seems as if there's an assumption that students who take A levels will go on to higher education. It doesn't appear to matter where other than Oxbridge (= Cambridge and Oxford). 

#3. If I'm ignoring that part of the application form where they ask for my high school credentials and all I enter is "diploma", then no wonder. 

I am of course, happy to be wrong and to be told I'm wrong by any of my UK readers.

My material needs are met.

I do love Josh's new album!!   Ba-DOW!!!




Bought a new 'old' couch from the British Heart Foundation.  Lovely thing too. Three seater, high-backed, fluffy. Movable cushions, zippered cushions...this is living!

And only £160! Such a deal! Such a mensch! I'm over the moon, because now, we can all sit together as a family. Now, if someone falls asleep, the other two aren't SOL.

I've had to flip the room, but that's not a big deal really. A non issue.

I hope you enjoyed my animation/video in the previous post.  It is a really easy, user-friendly site. Try it out and let me know what you come up with. Basically it's this: you type in text, it renders it for you. You pick sets, camera angles, actors and their movements...sounds, background, interstitial..yadda yadda yadda. www.xtranormal.com

I thought I'd have more for this. I don't. It's weird that this has been such a big deal in my head; having a comfortable place to sit is something many many people take for granted, myself included. And I thought I'd have more to share about this trauma.

I guess it's a good thing that I don't. Anyway, thanks for stopping by. I'm off to make a fort.