And I would walk 500 miles...

... or rather, more like 300+, just to be the mom who gives her kid a hell of a time at a favorite cartoon character's theme park. And I'd take the train instead.

Mom asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I said "tickets for us all to go to Peppa Pig World!" I was not disappointed. We like Peppa Pig in this house, even if throngs of little girls are threatening. Just ask Allie Brosh.

Peppa Pig World, located in Paulton's Park, is a great place to take little kids to ride rides and look at stuff, like meerkats and penguins.

Long train rides wouldn't be complete without Baby Sweetie Belle.

Representing west side or east side? I never knew which pants leg went with which direction.

 While waiting in the Balloon Ride queue (line for you Amurrcans), I couldn't help but notice some differences between British queuers and American line-uppers at a pricey theme park.

1. British families are quieter. 
2. British families are fitter.
3. British mummies bring healthy food in large cooler bags for their children to eat while waiting in the queue.
4. British daddies don't spaz out on their small children when their small children refuse to eat fruit and dump it all out in the middle of the walkway. 
5. British people help aforementioned daddy clean up the spilled fruit.

And then I got to see some differences between British social classes as a result... Later in the week, after the trip to Paulton's Park & PPW, I took Natalie to the park (two minute walk now!). There was a family there sitting at one of the picnic tables. Every so often, the fatter of the three ladies would shriek at the top of her lungs some name at random and whatever offending child that name belonged to would cease what they were doing only long enough for the lady to turn back to her family? friends? and her tab. Tab, in the northeast of England is a cigarette.

Eventually they left. They also left several empty crisps packets and drinks bottles. So, here's what I deduced from this, after (surreptitiously of course) watching them for several minutes:

1. Northern British families found in a local neighborhood park are not like the British families found in a Southern theme park.
2. Not all British families are fit. Which I knew anyway, but I'd like to reiterate this.
3. Northern British families of a certain class that can be found in a local neighborhood park don't particularly care to clean up after themselves. 
1. Understandable, since there aren't any trash cans in the vicinity and really, who wants to take their trash home? Seems like there's plenty there already.
4. Northern British daddies of a certain type do not interact directly with their progeny.
5. Northern British mummies of a certain type prefer tracksuit bottoms and hoodies for comfort wear.

Alright. Enough of that depressing shit. Back to the greatness that is Peppa Pig World!

I think there's a picture somewhere of me doing this exact thing while waiting in line for a ride at Disney Land. All kids do this. See that other kid? The one paying homage to Shark Week? Yep. Oh, here's another homage to Shark Week...


Unoriginal Source

Here we are on Peppa Pig's Balloon Ride with the ubiquitous sunglasses. I must always have my sunglasses. My Precious.

First ride on her very own! So proud that it was on George's Dinosaur Adventure.

To solo ride rides at Peppa Pig World, one must be 900 millimetres tall. Yes. That's how it was phrased on each height required panel at the entrance to every ride. 900 millimetres. This is 90 centimeters or three footlong subs from Subway (or City Bites, if that's what floats your boat. I worked there, so it don't for me).

I don't know why "900 millimetres" ticks me off. Could be that the "900" is too big a number to process or that it all seemed a bit pretentious? How the hell was I supposed to know that I needed to know my kid's height in "millimetres"? But is okay. They let her ride the ride by herself. And then because of how it was arranged, I had to ride the ride too. All by myself.

My mom was so proud.

The lovely animatronics. I had no idea that they were animatronics  because they didn't move nor did their mouths all that much. A little.  But then they did. Jerkily and in time with the audio playing. I thought it well done that it was in time with the audio.

Viking Boat swing. The best ride ever!

All tuckered out.

Going home.

One last thing... never saw a Park Worker cleaning up after patrons. Everyone cleaned up after themselves. I wish I could bottle that up and export it as supplementary vitamins. 

Good time and yes, I'd like to go back again because there's more to that park than just Peppa Pig World, like 75% more. 

Oh, and I haven't forgotten about the butcher interview. It's coming. It'll suck, most likely but that's because you didn't leave a question for me to ask him. So you won't get to have your deepest curiosity satiated. OR you could leave a question now and have it be your last ditch effort, I won't mind. 

Alive, alive OH!

And now I can breathe a bit. Have moved to new home and have unpacked the lion's share of the items we own. Am looking forward to getting rid of 80% when we leave for good. Really, we've too much. Have family round one here in town (village?) via France. Nice to have mom for a visit. 

And because I'm too busy to care more, here's a lovely set of pictures to tide you over until I feel like talking to you for real. Food, birthday, night out on the 'toon', and Scotland. Enjoy.

this makes...

...this. om nom nom nom.

I live here. Well, not here here, but near here. Okay, I live in a place where this is common.

Happy Birthday to the Kiddo! It was a successful party. I gave the moms each a cupcake. It was like, innovative and shit. To them, at least...like no one ever gives the mom cake. I remember the first birthday party here and that I didn't get cake. It upset me.

I got dolled up. Mom saw this picture and asked who my friend was.

Um, that's me, the "yummy mummy".

Giggity.

And this was tame. 

On the wall of the restaurant, which was inside the Victorian era train bridge. Yes, inside the bridge, bitches. So, already, had high hopes for the food in this place. The calzones were enormous and beautiful looking... 

...but I ordered this shit. Mexican risotto. Like I said, I had hopes of something good, given the menu's description of this dish. I'm ashamed to say I put half of this plate's contents into my face.

And then I realized that I didn't like it. So I stopped. Progress in baby steps, bitches.

After the meal, it was time for more immersion in the night life culture of Newcastle... #3 party town in Europe!

local lad

his friend

Angie, another local lad, and Kath. Ruth refused to be seen by my camera. Clever clogs, her.

We're brilliant.

 I just got back from Scotland too. Tomorrow, we head out for Peppa Pig World. Hey, I got a four-year old and I'm in England. It's not like Harry Potter World is anytime near in the future for me.

The Jimmie Hat. In retrospect, I should've bought it.

In the quiet car. Probably not the best location for us. That's mom on the right, friend from OK on the left. They brought the sunshine with them. 

Castle in Edinburgh

Princess Diana memorial tartan

National Crown Roast of Pork Day

Well, if you say so, I guess it is.   Yesterday, we were successful! We made it to the MetroCentre! Last time we went, the three of us, it didn't go well. That particular trip at the time saw us shopping for a couch (IKEA, SCS) and all three of us had tantrums by three-thirty. So, we never made it to the mall proper that time.

Sat across the aisle from four Americans who were heading out to tour Hadrian's Wall. Just sat and listened to them, no interaction was necessary or wanted.

Trip to Consett was not the Road to Bountiful

Most anybody who knows me, knows that I like driving. We have had some nice vehicles since we got together, but Dimples is not one of them.

Meet Dimples.

Dimples ain't road legal so he just sits there. If I want a road trip, I'm taking the bus.  On Monday, Natalie fussed over not getting to ride the pink double decker. I totally get her. I want to ride it too! But we were on the way to school and I couldn't be bothered to take an hour-long detour just then. So, I promised her a ride on the pink bus on Tuesday. And I kept my promise! Sort of...

We rode the yellow double decker. Not my fault though. I tried. We got on a pink double decker. The bus driver convinced us me that that was not the bus we wanted because we wouldn't be able to return via that same bus. Whatever. I quit listening because I knew I was going to have to extract a thrashing, trilling three year old from her perch at the top. However, she was quite the little lady about the whole mom screwup fiasco. Only did her little "Oh." sound. Really. It's the sound you make when you've asked for a donut at Krispy Kreme only to be told they've just sold out.

So, as we're backing out of the station dock...in pulls a pink bus...and it's going to the right place and coming back to the right place. *facepalm* Here, let me show you in case you've never seen it.

But...apparently, we had the more scenic of the two trips...Durham to Newcastle = not as scenic as Durham to Consett. Consett's basically Durham but without the Cathedral, Castle, or River. It's like the difference between Lexington and Purcell.

We rode for a while, got off and walked around for a bit, then got back on the bus to head home. Here, I'll just share with you...

Trip Buddy and Toby

Windmills on the horizon.

Lanchester High Street

Lanchester Library

A Canadian and American bar? It had both flags!

Running to the church.

Hurry up Mom!

Fig Newtons  mean road trip. Every time I go on a long drive, I gotta have my fig newtons. But these'll do too. Tesco, you never fail me.

Lanchester Library again. 

Tired and fussy. Natalie was too.

Lanchester is the site of the Longovicium Roman fort. I sure did like the look of Lanchester's library. I have a thing for bibliotheques.






In honor of FabFriendsFriday... I have a friend who's restarting her blogjourney. Would you care to show her some love? She's a real life friend...she's cute, perky, nightowlish, and hella fun to be around. Go say hi to Lauren.

Bus Ride

Went on a bus ride just for fun today. started a bit before four and ended just before six. We took the bus to Bishop Auckland that went the LOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG way around. One must take the #5 not the #56 if one wants to get somewhere fast.