Criteria
#of books in series
#times I've reread
intellectually entertaining
humourously entertaining
recommendable
discussable at water cooler/pub
scroll down if you just want to skip the play-by-play and look at the lovely bloody bracket
ON THE LEFT SIDE!
In the first match-up, Harry Potter versus the Dark Elf Trilogy, Harry Potter delivered a KO! Seven books to three, along with seven movies and the eighth one due out this summer. Plus, each HP book has been reread at least three times compared to the once for each of the Dark Elf books. Sorry Drizzt Do'Urden, but I gotta go with the lumos on this one.
In the third bout, the Dark Tower versus the Hunger Games... there was an epic struggle of minimal proportions. The scope of the Dark Tower series is so much greater than that of the Hunger Games. However, I greatly prefer the Hunger Games...because King writes books that are sans hope. Hunger Games FTW!
Then there's the Chronicles of Narnia's allegories throttling the Baroque Cycle. The Baroque Cycle counters with the intricacy of time manipulating story lines. The Baroque Cycle prevails!
The Saga of Recluce battles Marian Keyes' stories about the Walsh sisters. The Walsh sisters limp away with multiple fractures and two black eyes.
Tolkien's Lord of the Rings trilogy, with it's measly three tomes, triumphantly plants a flag in the apocalyptic and imbecilic Left Behind series. Frodo tosses my Christmas 2000 back into my life.
Sherlock Holmes, that classy lad, tried his best to coin the pithy phrase of the 20th century...AND FAILED! 'Elementary, my dear Watson' WAS NEVER IN THE BOOKS! So, DON'T PANIC and you live and learn. At any rate, you live. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy gives you great tips for when the world ends anyway. So it wins that round.
Alvin Maker, brainchild of Orson Scott Card, is quite the man...er, Maker. The alternative reality historical fiction series is brilliant. Jack Ryan is one of two beloved characters imagined by Tom Clancy. My grandfather likes Tom Clancy. Jack Ryan wins.
Two made up worlds, only one will win! The Discworld series by Terry Pratchett consistently makes me laugh out loud. I lol'd superhardgood pretty much at all of them there books. L. Frank Baum's allegorical The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, first of FOURTEEN titles, was lots of fun to analyze in honors History in high school, but it never made me laugh. Boot to the head to Oz, no ruby slippers for you! Especially since they were SILVER SLIPPERS! UP YOURS HOLLYWOOD! Discworld pwnd you!
ON THE RIGHT!
Next up, A Song of Ice & Fire contending with the Inheritance trilogy...this'd be of the Eragon, Eldest, and Awakening. Oh Christopher Paolini, your utter reliance on archetypes reminiscent of Star Wars is just absolutely no comparison to George R. R. Martin's saga of everything. Yes, you have a movie, but Ice & Fire has a new series out on HBO and it has been so nice watching how closely the adapters are keeping Game of Thrones from being crap. Your movie, even with the lovely Jeremy Irons...nah. I was tired of the second book even before I finished the first one. Sorry...you lose.
Jason Bourne is the new hotness thanks to Matt Damon...but I love historical fiction. I love historical fiction that is in an alternate reality. I love historical fiction that is in an alternate reality with...DRAGONS. Temeraire and Laurence, I heart you hardbig.
Piers Anthony's Incarnations of Immortality are formulaic. So is James Patterson's Alex Cross series. Cross always (SPOILER ALERT) catches the bad guy. Even if he is Morgan Freeman. But Morgan Freeman is not God. Le sigh. This is the worst one so far. Yeah, the Incarnation win because nursery rhymes are not perverted into book titles and Piers Anthony doesn't like to mow his lawn. True story.
The next contenders are children. Well, one behaves like a child, the other has his childhood taken away from him so he can save the world. My nostalgia can not save you, Laura Ingalls Wilder. The enemy's gate is down and Ender wins the round. Ender's Game, Speaker for the Dead, Ender's Shadow, Xenocide... etc etc.... I want to have another snow day and cocoa just to go through them again.
Robert Jordan died without finishing his Wheel of Time series. But that's not a mark against him. Sanderson is doing a fine ass job finishing it up for him. Philip Pullman pretends to be all in your face about your religion, but it (His Dark Materials) still is a good story, but sucky movie. WoT has 13 published books, one more coming out later this year (I think) and several companion books and a prequel. Sheer number of pages cause multiple paper cuts and Pullman has to forfeit the round to nurse his wounds.
Hmmm....Sookie Stackhouse versus Father Tim. Father Tim, definitely. He's a comforting light. And he gets the girl next door just by being frumpy and cute. MY HERO!
Mists of Avalon versus Twilight... Because I don't want to get beat down by my Twihard BIF and because you gotta know that at least one game is always thrown in a tournament (statistics, yo) Twilight wins. Just don't hold your breath for Final Four.
Do you remember Encyclopedia Brown? He was a cool kid. But he has to battle dragons. DRAGONS, I tell you! No contest, even if the dragons won't eat humans. Encyclopedia Brown was cool because he could figure out crimes and stuff from the vaguest clues. He was a 12 year old Sherlock Holmes living in the 1960s-1980s. Heck, even The Onion did a parody newsstory on him. Nevertheless, I heart DRAGONS and I haven't picked up an Encyclopedia Brown book since 1990...so BOO YA.
Stay tuned for tomorrow, where I skip the Elite Eight and bully on the Final Four... I'm having tons of fun with this!












