The Five Second Rule is a Lie.

The Malteser fell to the floor. She picked it up and proceeded to rub it between her hands.

Me: NO NO NO!  You either pick it up and throw it away or you put it in your mouth. We do not rub chocolate all over ourselves.

Yeah kiddo, if you want to rub chocolate all over yourself, be my guest. Don't let me get in your way. Oh? You were wiping it off? That's a whole 'nother story

If I'd've gotten there first, I'd have just blown on it before popping it my mouth. More hygienic, I think.

And may I please say that My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic AbFab? Case in point:

The target demographic for this show is not in fact 7-10 year old little girls. It is in fact, 18-26 year old males. In my house, we heart this show superhard. So does a redditor in his "My Little Pony Broventure". It was inspired by this particular rage comic. [Of course, reddit is how I find most cool stuff nowadays. By the by, I've been seeing a lot of rage comic characters as blog avatars. Sweet]

Honestly, I have felt that way many times. If you didn't click on either of the hyperlinks above, then you don't know what I'm talking about. Once you have, and you've read it...and frankly, you have to live in a country with participating McDonald's or other toy-hawking restaurants...But McD's is definitely at the top of the cheapo toy market... Have I gotten off track? Yeah. Once you've read it, you'll recognize that little stick figure in you.

Evey: "He was Edmond Dantès, and he was my father, and my mother, my brother, my friend. He was you, and me. He was all of us."

So, that's a little heavy for a stick figure, but maybe you'll see the everymannishness of it. And later, after munchkin had gone off to bed, I was taking some laundry upstairs. Wedged in the limbo between a folded sleeve and the floor rug, was a Malteser.

Blew on it. Popped it right in.