Not really. I was lying.
I've been asked by a lot of people here about what all is entailed in the holiday known as American Thanksgiving (not to be confused with Canadian Thanksgiving). You know, "All I know about America is what I see in the movies" kind of questions.
Like, what do you eat? And what do you eat?
Those are very easy questions to answer. And I answer the best I can, in the only way I can. With honesty and in bold.
"TV dinners for my family, usually. One year, we had tamales! I know a gal whose family likes to BBQ crab legs on Thanksgiving."
What about the Native Americans? Do they celebrate Thanksgiving the way you do?
"Hmm, well, Chinese food is very popular with the
Quite, quite. I can see that being a bit awkward for you.
"Yeah, it's not like they'd want invite us onto the rez on that day."
What about presents? Do you give each other pressies?
"Yes! Especially, we give presents to newly arrived immigrants. It's not really widely known outside of the lower 48. We want to make sure it stays local and as "American" as possible and does not become an exported custom. I know how much you Europeans hate amalgamating the rest of American culture into your own. It's our gift to you."
I appreciate it! Ta, very much. Are there any special Thanksgiving carols, like the Christmas ones?
"Oh sure, lots of them. There's 'Hold on Grandaddy, Momma's dialling 911', 'Quick, quick, pick it up before someone sees'. That one's got a dance to go with it. There's 'Salty Gravy and Bland Casserole'. My mom's favorite is 'Never Gonna Dessert You', by Trick Ghastly."
I've never heard of those! You'll have to teach them to me!
"Not surprised. They're Southern traditionals. Not much good from there reaches anywhere."
And what did I get today from my friend? A pressie. A DVD copy of Peter's Friends with an all-star cast of some British actors you've heard of and some you haven't. I love it.
I am very happy and thankful for clean, potable water coming out of my faucet. I am happy and thankful for trashmen and trash collection. I am very happy and thankful for non-censored, relatively free, somewhat inexpensive internet access. You should be too. Call your congressperson ASAP to tell them so.
I am overthemoonandback for my daughter and her health status. Same goes for SciMan and all my family. I love all my friends real, virtual, and imaginary. That means you. And I hope of hopes, that if you celebrate today, that you let someone take your keys (in a non-spouse swap way, unless that's your thing, then by all means) to your car so that you do not drink and drive.
Happy Thanksgiving to all and to all a good night!
My stomach hurts too much to be witty today....Happy Thanksgiving....wish you could spend ti in the south with us, eating, watching football, and suppressing famial hostility.
ReplyDeleteMe too kid. Me too.
ReplyDeleteThat was awesome. Thank you!
ReplyDelete@Matt: You'd better be Meizlish. Otherwise, this is too random. Oh, thanks! I appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteThe is such an eloquent and absolutely true explanation of our American Thanksgiving traditions. My family has songs that we sing in honor of Thanksgiving such as, "No Child Naps on Thanksgiving," which is followed up by, "Your Cousin is not a Pinata" and other favorites, "Grandpa, You're Senile, You Don't Really Have a Hungarian Accent, Stop Trying to Speak to Me in Your Made Up Accent While I'm Trying to Stuff My Pie Hole with Turkey." Thank you for sharing and Thank you for being you!:-)
ReplyDeleteMy Thanksgiving wish is that you are currently recording those carols for an upcoming post (furiously eyebrow waggling to convince you). Look at that: Thanksgiving carols and wishes, it's a Thanksgiving miracle.
ReplyDeleteSounds like the most perfect Thanksgiving ever! haha. Actually, we do always have tamales at tgiving and Christmas. It's our white trash/mexican south culture heritage. Don't judge.
ReplyDeleteYou crack me up - my cousins across the pond are always more fascinated by Black Friday than Thanksgiving. I tell them it's basically boxing day only with more pepper spray.
ReplyDeleteA;so um, isn't Peter's Friends all about him dying & really depressing? I think I saw that in the late 90's? Does that sound right?
I bet Canadian Thanksgivings aren't that much different. :P
ReplyDelete@ACapp: Verily I say unto you, I cannot help but be me.
ReplyDelete@TriGirl: Hmm, no.
@TGN: Yes. You have no idea. And no worries. I'm no Judgy McJudgerson.
@Dancy: You're welcome Humpty Dumpty. And yes. It is depressing. I was loving more of the fact that I got a present for being an American in England on Thanksgiving, not for the movie's content. It's Ruth's favorite movie from her growing up period. Mine's Breakfast Club, so we're both winners.
@DWei: True, but there's more hockey challenges and crying over beer.
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ReplyDelete