Where was this first posted? Answer that, and you can have the remaining Durham Cathedral magnet. (Fucking magnets. How do they work?)
Let's get down to business:
- I've been in constant pain for the past 9 days. Back, right side. Quits hurting when I lie down or when I sleep. Internet says it could be gas, slip disc (sic), muscle spasm, or gallstones. Hmmm, if I need surgery... better do it here. FOR FREE. At least it isn't lupus.
- Hurr hurr durr!
- Kiddo has been sick this week. Earaches, snot, coughing, hwarking, and vomiting. Vomit occurred twice; once on the couch (not the new one though, heh) and once in her bed. Poor kid.
- I've been serenaded twice since I started working in town; first time was at the charity shop (Oklahoma!) and the second time was Wednesday at the fruit/nut shop (Oh, What a Beautiful Morning!). Both songs were sung by old men who called me "pet". Old women call me "duck". I'm anticipating being called "chook". But that's prolly Australia.
- Today, I saw a label with Australia spelled "Austrailia". It was on a bag of sultanas. Sultanas are basically raisins. But in Southwest Asia, sultanas are female sultans.
- What did I make up in that factoid? What's the fake item(s)? No prizes though. Tough it out.
- Southwest Asia is AKA Middle East. Can I include Afghanistan in this region? Quick cursory check online says....no. But A-stan borders the easternmost portion of SW Asia, so guess what? Yeah, I'm hating on Afghani fundamentalists now. Before, I had pity. Now, maybe not so much. Supposedly 20 UN workers (for the most part, not Americans) were murdered in retaliation for a Koran burning that took place two weeks ago in the states. By a different church than the church that did threaten to burn a Koran.
- It's the fall that's gonna kill ya. Don't think I'm not an equal opportunity hater...I'll bust out the Isaac and Ishmael episode of West Wing to prove a point if I have to.
- Can we not get along? If they keep killing and we (collective we and they) keep burning, to quote/paraphrase a dead Irish writer, there is no present and no future. There is only the past happening over and over again, now.
- "They'll like us when we win." - Toby Ziegler
- And lastly, today I got told my accent is gorgeous...by three different customers! Huh.
- Okay, so this is the last one. I'm so damn proud of my 13 pounds I've gotten rid of. 33 more to go.
- Nevermind...
- It's none of anyone's damn business why I'm living here now. What's a nice way to phrase that when someone asks me what I'm doing here?
- OBVIOUSLY I'M SELLING YOU SOME DRIED APRICOTS, BITCH.
- Mostly, it's men asking me this.
Sounds like a busy and stressful week!!!! I was thinking of you today. I went to a pub called The Pump house on the outskirts of Durham for Sunday lunch and it was lovely. It was a nice pub not one of the grotty types, and the food lovely! I would definitly recommend it. I knew it attrated a well to do crowd when a 9yr old boy walked in with an IPad hahaha!!
ReplyDeleteIf a man calls you "pet" and a woman calls you "duck" then what would a cross gender call you? Pet Duck!!
ReplyDeleteThat is so full of win, TMMW. I want to rub that all over me.
ReplyDeleteGratz on the 13.
ReplyDeleteElectrical charges to metal, that's how magnets work. My 7 year old taught me that a few weeks ago.
So is your accent all southwestern like Matt McConaughey and Reba McEntire? If so, they probably love that over there.
Happy Sunday
Duck?! And that is a good nickname?! I guess it is better than the way they call everyone mouse here in Germany. Yeah thanks, I did want to be called a rodent :)
ReplyDeleteSorry you are in pain. Maybe it is gas and all those dried apricots you have been pocketing from your new job. SHhh, don't worry, I won't tell!
Great week wrap up, it always has me laughin!
Have you been called treacle yet? That's one the older folk like to throw about!
ReplyDeleteSultanas ARE different to raisins, but I'm not exactly sure what makes them different, given that they are both dried up lumps of revoltingness. All I know is that my Nana's Christmas Cake requires both, not just more of one or the other.
ReplyDeleteI wanna be a Sultana! And you should get a t-shirt made with the "dried apricots bitch" slogan. FOR REALS.
ReplyDeleteWoohoo on the 13 pounds! But ruhroh on the back pain. Hope you get better or figure it out soon.
ReplyDeleteI have a cousin from Wakefield that calls me 'chicken', which obviously does not mean the same things that it does in the States. (Unless he thinks I am a coward, or a young, gay boy.)
The next time that a local asks you what you're doing in England, just explain to them that you got bored with American men and crossed the pond to find some fresh meat. :)
@Jo: ah ah ah! Sultanas are a type of white seedless grape of Turkish, Greek, South African, or Iranian origin. WIKIPEDIA FOREVER! Raisins and sultanas are produced from the same grape...the difference is in color and size and the geographic location of the consumer.
ReplyDeleteIt's like squares and rectangles.
Hmmm... So raisins are sultanas that have been in the sun too lon?
ReplyDeleteDug the flow of this post :)
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, I hope that the little one is doing much better... as well as your back. Oy vey.