Short Saga of Discounted Pussy Energy

Oh. I couldn't make this up if I wanted to.

So, I originally saw the Pussy at Makro. It wasn't hurt or used up or bent all out of shape when I first saw it. My new friend, a fellow Amurrikan named Tammy, has a membership to this Costco/Sam's Warehouse lookalike and she invited me along; she wanted to buy a turkey, I like looking at mass quantities of shit. Long story short, I had to take a picture of this (scroll down if you haven't seen it yet. Better yet, read that post before continuing).

Anyway, the turkey wasn't forthcoming on the first trip. Hmm, methinks you're getting the long story long. No turkey meant a second visit. Also, I saw the big "Santa Present" that Natalie wanted at Costco, but didn't buy it then as I wanted to check online prices and local toy stores. I like helping where I can. However, this is not relevant.

Back at Makro the second time to get the turkey, we swing by the discounted/damaged stock section on the way to the checkout lines. Tammy likes to buy her trashbags from that section.

Lo and behold, doth the Makro provide...

See? What the customer really wants is unbent, unadulterated pussy in a can. I mean, this canned pussy is good to go for another 20 years or so. It'll still be as fresh then as it is now...maybe a little flat but who cares! There might be a little more packaging to trim but it's the (reciprocal) journey that's the fun part, not the destination.

LOOK AT ALL THIS CHEAP PUSSY THAT I DIDN'T BUY FOR MY HUSBAND! It's because it has the EXCL STD. Gives a whole new meaning for the "V" in VAT. Instead of value added tax, we now have vagina added tax.

I... I don't... I don't even... I don't even know how to fit this into my paradigm.