Day 8- The Lost Jesus Years

Dear Dairy,

I don't have a book in this house that I haven't read a minimum of twice already. Yesterday was not a good day for that reason. I think I read as much as I do because it gives me something to think about. In this way, I can dampen the imaginary volume of my personal thoughts by insulating it with other people's ideas and words.

It's not schizophrenia per se...rather, it's the idiocy of thinking too much about too little. I'm getting a new vacuum cleaner (AWESOME) and leaving my old one with a friend. The friend seemed a little more excited about keeping the vacuum than about us coming home on an unknown date in the future. What a stupid thing for me to dwell on. Another little thing... got a shower invitation in the mail. It feels like this:

WHICH FEELS ABSOLUTELY GREAT! TRY IT SOMETIME!

It's time for a trip to the library. Got some kiddo books to take back anyway.  Some of the comments have mentioned books I've already read and some that I've not. I'm going to see if they exist in corporeal form at the local library...wish me luck.

Day 8- An Unpopular Book You Believe Should Be A Bestseller

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Okay, not really an unpopular book, just not all that mainstream. I mean, it says 'national bestseller' so that doesn't really count but maybe I'm just looking for a fight? Absurdist fiction writers like Moore and Pratchett are just great. I love them so hard, I'd invite them to dinner and I wouldn't apologize for the cleanliness level of my home.

Lamb is just like it says on the cover, the Gospel according to Levi Bar Alphaeus who is called Biff, Christ's childhood pal.  All your favorite characters are present! It begins with how they met as children, moving on to their interactions as adolescents (SPOILER ALERT: The Magdalene is Maggie) and competing as rivals for Maggie's love...well, it's an unbalanced love triangle anyway. It humorously explains the missing years of Joshua bar Joseph's life. I mean really, this is a great book and not something to get offended by. If you get offended, you're an idiot without a sense of absurd humor.

There, I said it and I'll box anyone who says different. You can not like something without being offended. Your paradigm can have a minor shift without you losing your cookies.

This is one of the books that I like to give away as presents. Pretty much everything by Moore, I'd give as a present... but I think I'll refrain because that's just something you don't do. It is not right to overwhelm people with absurdity. Probably why Monty Python's The Meaning of Life didn't do so hot. I like to give them to uninitiates (yes that's a word Blogger)... or the non-initiated. So far, I've not lost a single friend or a cookie over this.

And that's Day 8. I've got lemon rinds and spilled salt to clean up now. 

30 Days of Books- Day 7

Day 7- A Book That's Hard to Read

Tony Parsons' My Favourite Wife

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I picked it up thinking it was by the same author who wrote About A Boy. That would be Nick Hornby, not Tony Parsons. Nope. Tony Parson wrote Man and Boy and because I'm denser than water, I got confused.

I bought it sometime last year. Finally finished it two weeks ago. It's only 405 pages (405 holla!). I don't know why it took me so long. I'd read a bit and get bored but retain just enough interest to keep it bookmarked. Same thing happened to me with Girl with Industrial Ink on her Dermatitus, only with that book I was infuriated. 

So. My Favourite Wife. Had the Asia element that I usually like, mixed with British characters which is always good fun. I thought Bill was a weak character, but in a positive way. I really didn't like him which sucked because he's on most every page. 

Really, it didn't feel altogether that well written or edited. It was the reading equivalent of watching an Atom Egoyan film... emotional alienation between the husband and wife, the geography of the setting creating isolation from reality. 

I finished it because I don't like not finishing books. It paid off and its ending let Bill's character develop into a pseudo likable person... When it was time to nut up or shut up, he nutted up. About damn time too seeing as it was the end of the book.

I'm not kidding about the Atom Egoyan metaphor.

The one where I admit I cry...30 Days of Books- Day 6

I think this might come in handy if I ever find myself in a job situation where I'd hear these phrases.

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Makes me think of the funniness of Americans saying "Have a nice day." We most times mean it. I mean it when I say it, especially to bus drivers. I will go out of my way to make a bus driver feel better just so the next batch of riders don't have to be jerked around due to poor/fast driving. Asking someone "how are you today?" here seems to not be a throwaway salutation like it is back home. No one here responds with "Fine" or "Just fine." Nope, they think about your question and answer it.

What other throwaway salutations can you think of that I can use in the shop? I'm running out of phrases and I  "cain't ree-lie on mah charmin' ack-sent all thuh tie-m".

Oh the perils of language, I heart thee. Today, I said to two customers as they were leaving the store, "Thanks for coming in!"  The daughter turned to her dad and asked him, "What did she say?"

Day 6- A Book That Makes You Cry

Have read this sucker three times now since last August.

There's lots of books that make me cry. Nicholas Sparks, Cecilia Ahern... you are like my contact and my eye is like my eye and I've got my eye on you. ಠ_ಠ

Because I heart this book so much so, I pick The Help. I cry at the end. Abileen's and Mae Mobley's relationship, to me, is the most poignant of all delineated in this novel. Most likely, it's because kiddo's the same age-ish.

And there's a good underlying theme that I want to teach kiddo for when she's a grownup... no matter what circumstances we find ourselves born into, we all start out the same... We want to grow up with love and respect for ourselves and others. We all want to be recognized. We all want someone to tell us that we are kind and smart, to help us start believing in ourselves.

Here's an obvious statement: children aren't born hating the world and those who live on it. Hate is a learned behavior, a cultural phenomenon. And I think it is slowly, gradually on it's way out. Take for instance the case of the Texas (whyitalwaysgottabeTexas?) teacher who taunted a Muslim student the day after OBL's death, "I heard your uncle died", and "I bet you're grieving." A different student, a friend of the girl's, witnessed this and took steps to address the situation. And the two girls, friends, are of different creeds... and it didn't matter. You can read about it yourself here and see the news video also.

What I took from The Help is that norms are the lines that form uncrossable boundaries between each of us...those of status quo, of belief systems, of beauty standards...they're like monsters in the closet. The lines exist only in our heads. And I'm all for stepping over the line.

I'm looking forward to the movie adaptation. What book makes you cry?

30 Days of Books- Day 5

Day 05- A Non-fiction book that you actually enjoyed


 I resent the qualification "actually" applying to the enjoyment of non-fiction and I therefore humbly submit for the approval of the Midnight Society that I refrain from considering this day.


I've actually enjoyed most every book I've ever read, fiction and non-fiction. Take that, Dewey Decimal.


Because I'm refusing to cop out on this... here you go. A required book from one of my East Asia History classes from back in the day. I actually enjoy rereading this when I can.

Wild Swans

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An up close and personal look at Mao's China. After reading this book, it finally dawned on me why Eddie Izzard says "little red cookbook, little red cookbook" in Dressed to Kill.

God, I can be dense at times.

Jung Chang's father was one of the first Communist revolutionaries, her mother was a Manchurian teen rebel... fireworks were inevitable. And there's pictures! I love pictures in non-fiction books.

So, yeah. Romance, war, class struggle, ostracism... what's not to love? It's banned in mainland China, but can be obtained in Hong Kong and Taiwan... so there you go.

Really, it is a great inside look, generationally, at China of the 20th century. Some people liked it and praised it to high heaven; some didn't, calling it 'faction'- history told by fictional narrative means.

Whatever... if it gets some people interested in history, I'm all for it. Ends justifying the means, you know?

How about you? What's your non-fiction book that you actually enjoyed?

Fun Video Friday: The Disciple of Bon Qui Qui... 30 DoB- Day 4

Fun Video Friday is inspired by today's events at work.

And I can't friggin embed it. It's been disabled by request. Really, YouTube? Only 44+million views and anonymous users wants to disallow embedding? I circumvent you! Here's a link...

http://youtu.be/jZkdcYlOn5M

So this lady says to me today, "You have the Durham look."  She was smiling but that's still no clue whether that's a compliment or an insult. If compliment, "girl, I will cut you."  If insult, "girl, I. WILL. CUT. YOU."

Day 4- A Book That Reminds You Of Home

Campbell's Casseroles Cookbook- board book style.

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It usually ships in 1 business day. All the recipes are good except for the carrot one. Don't cook that one.

When kiddo was a small kiddo, this is the book I'd give her as I was puttering around in the kitchen. She made a great cookbook holder. Aaaaaah. Campbell's Soup Casseroles.... the mainstay of many American dinners.

I didn't bring this with me overseas for one big reason. They don't have Campbell's here. They've got Heinz.

EAT HEINZ!

I have this idea that it wouldn't taste the same if I used Heinz. Fear. That's what that feeling is! So weird.

Blogger says my 30 DoB-Day 3 will be back soon... well, they say that any post written after such and such time on Wednesday will be returned post haste, post hoc ergo propter hoc, quid pro quo E pluribus unum. Agricola filliam vocat. Anyway, I know how much you want to read day 3.

Platypus are poisonous... heh. Day 3 of 30DoB

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Day 3: A Book That Surprised You (Bad or Good)

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone... for good. It turned me into a thief. (Michael Palin voice-over "I got better.)

No really! I stole* from a school library in Edmond, OK because I couldn't put the book down.

Setting: A Middle School

Action: Substitute Teaching

Time: Lunchtime

I resist new things. Always have. And Harry Potter was no exception to this. So, I'm subbing a sixth grade geography class (prophetic really) and along comes lunchtime. I had brought my lunch but had forgotten the crucial tool of solitary eating...a book. I cruise the library for something suitable for me, a college junior (maybe senior...I've drunk since then). I considered a few Christopher Pikes and Babysitters Clubs for the nostalgia, but ultimately decided to see what all the fuss was about Harry Potter. I think PoA had just been published at this point in the series.

I was surprised and hooked. I was surprised that a book like that was actually in an central Oklahoma school library... really, there are people in that state (and others also) who think Harry Potter is about witches and demons and spells and monsters... oh wait...

No, there's some real crazy people in Oklahoma that get all churchy on books and shit. They want to ban stuff that I'd consider harmless ... Heck, in one Texas school district, you have to have parental permission to check it out from the school library... Conservative central OK cain't be too far beehind.

So surprised was I that this book was in that library that I liberated it before it could experience the pain of banning. On that teacher I subbed for's account. Heh heh.

Never fear, I didn't keep that book in perpetuity... I loved that school's approach to substitute teachers; you got a goody bag and a can of coke when you checked in. Eventually, I returned that book to the school. Had to... it was due back.

No way I was going to jeopardize me not getting a subbing job at that place. Good lord, that goody bag. Only school I know that did it.

So, yeah, I eventually acquired all books that were published at that time, bought the next one when it came out and basically I've become the household resident expert on all things Harry Potter. While remaining true to myself and not becoming a Harryhard (Twihard nudging reference, finger in throat) or Potternut or Parryhotter or best of all, a Potter-head that wears costumes to book release parties and movies, I still host a happy wish that one day I get a genuine replica wand that I can cast a Patronus spell with.

Because I have an awesome Patronus.  It's a platypus.

*and by 'stole', I meant "checked out without any real intent to return"

30DOB- Day 2 & Sam's Seat

We're pretty much the same everywhere aren't we, humans? Like Frances Hodgson Burnett implies, we all just want a bit of earth that is our own.



Whoever Sam is, he's got great handwriting and syntax. So clear! So concise! I'd like to meet Sam and let him know that I didn't mean anything by it when I put my purse on his seat. No disrespect. I ain't frontin'.

The first time I saw this kid's claim, I was slightly uncomfortable. You go on with your business, the day to day humdrum. You know that someone has sat in your row, possibly even that very seat you're sitting in just then. There's evidence all around you; empty wrappers and discarded drink containers, ghostly smears of hands and fingers on the windows... you HAVE the knowledge that, yes, this is public transportation, that people exist in time on this very bus.... but, heretofore, it has been anonymous. Now it has changed.

Now it has a name...and if it has a name, then you're reluctant to dismiss the entity. Sam. His name is Sam. Her name is Sam. Sam I am. It is now my seat.

Day 2- A Book You Hate.

Steig Larsson's book, Girl with a Stupid Tattoo... or whatever it is called.

I care nothing for ExtremelyNorthernEuropean authors. Even Hans Christian Anderson, a Dane, comes very damn close to getting the axe from me... Little Match Girl anyone? The real  Little Mermaid?

Yeah I read the first of the Millenium trilogy. That's three days of my life I wish back. I'd've rather had read a Christopher Moore book for the umpteenth time again. His books, I can get behind those books. Lisbeth Salander... I kept trying to read it as Salamander... like she was some irascible Pokemon. The character was just unbelievable, all of them were.

And same goes for ExtremelyNorthernEuropean movies. Can't abide those either. I don't get the humor or the drama. I think it's like watching Benny Hill behaving like a 14 year old girl cutting herself. Ew.

What's a book you hate?

30 Days of Books- Day 1

Yeah, so I had Mother's Day in my own way... I read a damn book yesterday. A whole book. 766 pages. The Passage by Justin Cronin.

Want to know why I was able to read that honker in that time frame? Two reasons... but one more than the other...let you decide the import...

Nursery School

I've read it before because it is a combination of  The Stand, Swan Song, and Dracula 

Similarity to The Stand: Las Vegas, Dreams, Awesome Righteous Black Lady, Virus.
Similarity to Swan Song: Apocalyptic, Nuclear Weapons, Little Savior Girl.
Similar to Dracula: Vampires...  but I could've just as easily said Twilight or True Blood... only Bram Stoker's Dracula (the Bela Lugosi movie version) is referenced.

I neither recommend or disrecommend this book. Depends on what you like, and I'm guessing you won't like.

In honor of my achievement in reading excellence I commence the 30 Days of Books. And I will do this in my own way and in my own time. I kept waiting on Lauren to get started so I could copy her, but alas.

Day 1- Your Favorite Book

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McCammon tends to write about the macabre and unsurprisingly, there's some of the macabre in this book. However, it isn't the focus or even overwhelming. It's there but only as sinister as the imagination of a child. Which, come to think of it, can be quite scary.

Anyway, it takes place in rural 1964 Alabama... The bombing of the Birmingham church and riding bikes on the last day of school, first day of summer...A wispy, lispy boy with a perfect arm... Giant prehistoric, man-eating catfish...The Klan...A ghost and a hotrod... A murder... Dreams. 

This book is the unseen force behind my first college major choice.  I'm always the only one who's read it... no one I know outside of my immediate family has read this. Maybe Pat. Or Steve. Both even.

Since my favorite third space, Borders, is most likely closed in your area... here's your Amazon link.